Cynthia woke up a couple arns later, feeling rested and comfortable. And for some reason she couldn't fathom yet, she felt warm. She opened her eyes and smiled as the memory surfaced: she had fallen asleep with John's arms around her, and apparently he'd fallen asleep too. She reached up and gently ran her hand along his arms, and then along his face. He mumbled something and stirred, then opened his eyes to see her smiling at him. He gave her a sleepy smile in return. "Guess we were a little tired. huh?" she asked him.

He nodded and pulled her tighter to him, eliciting a soft laugh. "You don't think we've probably been in here long enough?" she questioned.

He grunted quietly and shook his head, smiling softly as she laughed again. "You're incorrigible, you know that?" she told him with a smile.

"Always have been, probably always will be," he told her.

Suddenly, she turned to him, which softly shook him out of his sleepy reverie, and he opened his eyes to find her looking at him. "Do you have something I can write with? And on?" she asked.

He nodded, sat up. and reached over onto a table, handing her paper and a pen that he had left from Earth. She looked at them curiously before glancing at him warily.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "They write, not bite."

She smiled gently. "Could you give me a few minutes? I just got an idea for a song, and I sort of need some quiet time for inspiration to really hit."

He nodded, understanding what she meant. "Do you write all the songs you sing?"

"A lot of them, yeah," she replied.

He nodded. "Okay, take your time, I'll be around." He leaned over and kissed her softly. "And you finding me would definitely qualify as a nice surprise."

She smiled and blushed slightly. "I'll keep that in mind. And thanks."

He nodded and walked out, leaving her writing her song on the paper.

************************************

John headed toward the kitchen, finding himself hungry after his nap. He walked in, only to find Chiana eating at the table. He turned around to leave, not wanting to discuss the current situation with her, but was stopped by her voice.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the ship Casanova? That is the human word for what you are, right?" Chiana asked with a slight chuckle.

"Whatever," John replied.

"Come on, it's good to feel good, two females crazy about you,

both on this ship, both where you can spend time with them. Are you going to try and tell me you're not enjoying this?" Chiana asked.

But the reply he spoke was heartfelt. "No, Chi, I'm really not."

Suddenly, the Nebari girl looked confused. "What? Why the heck not?"

He sat down with a sigh. "Because I have feelings for both of them, genuine feelings. And I don't want to hurt either one of them. And I've already hurt Aeryn, and I'm risking hurting Cynthia, just being with her, and..." he paused for a second, trying to find the words to express his frustration at himself. "And I'm wondering if my being with them is good for either one of them. I could fall in love with...God, either of them, and...I don't want to hurt either one of them, and instead, I risk hurting them both right now. Is it worth it to me? To them?"

Chi looked slightly dazed at this response.

John looked over at her. "So, clearly, I am so NOT enjoying this."

Chi's face held a look of contrition. "I'm sorry, I didn't think, and...I'm just sorry."

John nodded. "I know the feeling. Believe me."

Chi looked at him. "Wait, what didn't you think about? What are YOU sorry about?"

Johns face held guilt. "I didnt think before letting myself have feelings for someone else, and Im sorry for getting the three of us into this mess, and Im sorry that her parents had to" he broke off the sentence.

Chi glanced at him. "You feel guilty. About what happened with Moya and her familys shuttle."

He nodded, without saying a word.

"But it was an accident. If we couldve done anything to prevent it, we wouldve," she pointed out.

He looked over at Chiana. "But we didnt, because we didnt know, and we cant change that, and I understand that. It just doesnt make it any easier to face."

Chiana nodded at the solemn realization.

John surprisingly gave a soft smile. "You know what this whole thing reminded me of?"

Chiana shook her head. "What?"

John laughed softly. "When I first got shot out of the wormhole." He stopped laughing. "My module accidentally collided with Captain Craiss brothers, and he veered off and crashed and was killed. The same thing, an accident leading to someones death. Only the outcomes were so very different. Crais had so much anger in him, and his pain turned into this crazed need for revenge, this need to kill me. On the other side of the spectrum, we have" he stopped for a moment as a soft smile crossed his face. "Cynthia. This beautiful, amazingly warm woman, who loses her parents because of us, even if it was accidental, its still true. And she could be angry and full of pain that she turns into a need for revenge. Well, no, actually, now that I know her, that couldnt be. But before we knew her, we didnt know what to expect. But now, shes so selfless and kind. She deals with her pain mostly internally, tries so hard not to take it out on us. And she ends up stealing" his mouth was still open, to finish the sentence, but he glanced over at Chiana, and saw her small smile. "What?" he asked her.

"You dont even see it, do you?" she asked.

"Im supposed to see something?"

"Yes, you dralnik, that she feels the same way as you. Ever since she woke up, and you showed her so much kindness, and made it totally evident how you feel, the girls been crazy about you. And I know you were crazy about her before she even woke up, and dont try to deny it, I heard you in that shuttle," she finished with a smirk.

Although it wasnt something he normally did, he turned away as he blushed at her comment. He didnt think anyone had heard him when he first found her. Hed been overcome, he hadnt even thought the words, theyd just sort of tumbled out of his mouth. And hed seen Chiana standing near him, he just hadnt realized shed heard him. "It wasnt that big a deal, Chiana, didnt think before I spoke, and it came out."

Chiana smiled at him. "Thats just it. If you didnt think before you spoke, then it came from your heart, and that makes it a VERY big deal. John, think about how you felt about her the first time you saw her, unconscious in that shuttle. Now think about how you feel about her now, and follow that to its logical conclusion. Youre a scientist, so I know you do that."

So he did. He thought back to when he was just about to follow the others into different rooms of the small shuttle to look for survivors of the crash. He remembered stopping, seeing something under the bed, just the edge of something. Hed walked over, and seen a foot, and hed said softly to himself that someone was under the bed. Hed knelt down and pulled her out. That was the first time hed seen her. Hed laid her head in his lap, and stopped breathing for a second. Her eyes and hair had been so beautiful. He hadnt been able to see the color of her eyes, but the almond-shape, wide and soft, drew his gaze. And he couldnt help saying that she was beautiful, he hadnt thought it, hed felt it. And suddenly, he realized what else hed felt, and he shook, because of the intensity and the frightening effect it had.

Chiana looked concerned. "John, what?"

John looked at her. "I remember how I felt"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 15

Chianas concern turned to curiosity. "Yeah? And? How did you feel?"

John looked as though he were in a trance. "Thats never happened beforehowwhy"

Chiana waved her hand slowly in front of his face, and he shook himself out of it. "What, Chi?"

Chis concern had returned. "John, whats wrong? You looked a million metras away for a microt there. Is this about what you remembered? How you felt?"

John simply nodded.

"Ok, in a good way or a bad way?" she questioned.

He laughed softly to himself. "Good, but entirely unbelievable way."

Chi smiled softly at his response as well. "How so?"

John looked at her uncertainly. "No offense, Chi, but next to Rygel, youre about the least likely person on Moya to actually KEEP a secret. Why exactly would that make you the most likely one for me to tell?"

Chiana gave him a dirty look. "Because IM the one that brought up the question and actually made you think about it, you ungrateful frelnik!"

John took a moment to take that in. "Oh, well, thats a good point, yeah." He sighed. "Ok, if you want to knowIll tell you."

Chi looked surprised and delighted. "Really? Terrific!" She pulled up a chair and sat down with him. "Ok, lay it on me. Howd you feel?"

John sat quiet for a moment, then took a deep breath and slowly let it out before looking at her. "I loved her, Chi, it was love at first sight. And honestly, once she woke up, a million things couldve happened, or she couldve done a million things to change my mind about how I felt. And they havent happened, not one. Doesnt that mean something, I mean, really? That so much couldve happened so fast to ruin it, and so far, its only gotten better?"

Chi laughed softly. "Yeah, that means something, all right. But John, since your scientific side seems to be on leave at the moment, let me remind you of something here, ok? Youve known her approximately one solar day. And yeah, at this point, we know her to be a good person, a total innocent whos a victim of circumstance. But like you say, a million things could still happen to change minds - not just yours, but hers too - one already almost did. See the way Aeryn at first looked at you two when you were together? She saw what was going on. Arent you afraid of what shes going to think?"

John laughed again softly, this time, much to Chis surprise, and lowered his head for a moment to gaze at the floor. "No, actually, Im really not."

Chi was astonished. "Are you completely farbot? Why not?"

John looked up at her with a gentle smile. "Because Cynthia apparently talked through everything with her, and made her, somehow or other, understand. Aeryn actually came to me with her and told us she wanted us to give it a chance. She wants Cynthia and I to try being together."

Chis mouth fell open in utter shock. "Ok, then, I guess shes totally farbot. What the frells gotten into her?"

Again, that soft smile spread across his face, just by his saying one word. "Cynthia."

Chi looked at him. "You really think whatever she said got through to her that much?"

He shrugged. "Thats what she said. And I have no reason not to believe it. She said before she talked to her, REALLY talked her, that she felt cursed, and nowshe said she feels lucky, and that she even trusts her." He shook his head and laughed again. "It took her longer than that to trust ME for frells sake!" Then he became quiet. "But she did it. She said something that really made Aeryn see the light, when even I couldnt. I dont know how, but she did." He had a look of confusion mixed with pride on his face. "And she wants to be with mewhy, I just really dont know, but Im not taking it or her for granted. Shes just" Suddenly, he stopped and looked over at Chi, who had a soft smile on her face. "What?" he asked her.

She just kept smiling. "Its nice to see you in love like this, so excited and peaceful all at the same time. Happy and amazed, bewildered and shocked, and so proud that of all the people she could pick, she wants to be with you. Its just nice to see you like this."

He gave a short laugh. "All the people she could pick? Not much of a choice here, is there?"

Chiana laughed at that. "True, cant really see her with DArgo or Rygel."

John shook his head vigorously. "Man, Chi, whyd you have to put those visuals in my head?"

She let out a peal of laughter. "Because you make such funny faces!"

"Funny is good, but mischievous is even better," said a voice in the doorway.

John knew the voice even before he turned to look at the doorway. "Hey, you," he greeted Cyn with a soft smile.

She smiled back and walked over to them. "Hey, yourself." She leaned down to give him a soft kiss, and pulled over a chair to sit with them.

"So, John told me the good news," Chi said with a smile.

"Sorry, you lost me," Cyn replied, looking confused.

"About what Aeryn said? You know, the fact you no longer have to sleep with a knife under your pillow?" she reminded her.

"Oh, ok, about us and everything, ok," Cyn recollected with a smile. "I know, I was totally shocked, I couldnt believe it. I mean, thrilled, of course, but shocked."

John tapped her lightly on the shoulder.

She turned to him with a smile. "Yeah?"

He tried not to crack up as he asked, "Sleeping with a knife under your pillow?"

Cyn blushed. "That was Chis idea, not mine. Dont hold me responsible for her violent impulses. And I never followed through on it anyway."

John nodded his head solemnly. "Ok then. Remind me to check under my pillow when I get back to my room, though." He managed to keep a straight face while saying it, but then a smirk overtook him.

Cyn reached over and lightly smacked his arm. "Youre really funny," she replied, but she couldnt help smiling in return.

Chi gave him a warning look. "You stop picking on her. She was in fear for her life, all right?"

John tried nodding solemnly again, but this time, couldnt pull it off, and cracked up halfway through the second nod.

Chi rolled her eyes. "He doesnt get how ruthless our gender can be, does he?" she asked of Cynthia.

Cyn smiled softly at Chi and replied, "Really asking the wrong female, Im not ruthless."

Chi looked at her with mild surprise. "Really? Like never?"

Cyn shook her head. "Nope."

Even John had managed to stop laughing enough to inquire on this subject. "Like never ever?"

Cyn smiled softly. "Never ever. Never needed to be, no reason."

Johns face had taken on a troubled look. "Well, dont be surprised if you end up finding reasons to now."

Cyn looked slightly confused. "Arent you guys just heading home? Or arent you explorers or something?"

John and Chi shared a brief knowing glance. Then John sighed and turned back to Cyn. "Well, you had to hear this sooner or later" He stopped and took a breath and looked at her. "Promise you wont freak if I tell you this? That you wont be afraid?"

Cyn looked even more confused. "Of course, what is it?"

John looked back at Chi, who nodded. He turned to Cyn. "Chiana, DArgo, Rygel, and Zhaan? Theyre prisoners from their planets. Moya was originally a prison ship."

Cyn looked bewildered. "Prison ship? They were prisoners? What could they possibly have done?"

"I was a non-conformist on a planet of conformists, and I ran away, which to them, is a crime," Chi told her.

Cyn nodded. "Ok, and the others?"

"DArgo was wrongly convicted of his wifes murder, Rygel was wrongly arrested by his cousin, who wanted his throne, and Zhaan was convicted for the murder of her lover."

Cyn nodded slowly, trying to take it all in. "So, who killed DArgos wife?"

John sighed softly. "Her brother, Macton, a Peacekeeper. He was able to frame DArgo for it. Peacekeepers always thought a Luxan being with a Sebacean was an aberration anyway, so arresting and convicting DArgo was easier than doing it to one of their own. DArgo has a son, actually, with his widow, Jothee."

"All right. Moving on. Rygel was the Dominar, pretty much the leader of his planet, Hyneria. His cousin, Bishan, wanted the throne, so he had the Peacekeepers arrest him, essentially. Rygel tends to sell people out and be a major pain, but he wouldnt hurt anyone unless his life or his friends lives were threatened."

Cyn nodded. "Ok, havent met him yet, but got it, keep going."

"Ok, this one will be the hardest to explain," John began. "Zhaan was convicted of the murder of her lover."

"Yeah, but wrongly convicted, like the others, right?" Cyn responded.

John gazed at the floor for a minute.

Cyn looked at him, then at Chi, who was doing the same thing. "She really did murder her lover?"

John looked back up at Cyn. "She has a dark side, I wont deny that, but it doesnt come out unless shes pushed to the limit. Besides being a doctor on this ship, shes also a priest, shes a tenth level Delvian pau, which is a priest on her home world. Her lover was planning something that wouldve overthrown her religion, ruined her world, hurt a lot of people, and since Zhaan knew, she did the only thing she could to protect her religion and those lives."

Cyn nodded slowly. "She killed him to save her religion, her home, and all those people."

John nodded. "Exactly. She was trying to protect all the things she held dear, so she had to kill the man she loved to do it. She still hates to talk about it."

Cyn nodded again. "Yeah, I can understand that." She slightly shook her head. "Ok, so thats the story of most of the people on board here, and I know your story, but what about Aeryns?"

Johns face took on an unreadable expression. "She was a Peacekeeper. She was in one of the ships trying to keep the prisoners from escaping in Moya, her ship got caught in the Starburst, and they captured her. After which, they brought her down with them to the planet, said she could go, but the Peacekeepers had already found us. Specifically, Captain Crais. This was the point at which I learned that if Peacekeepers spend too much time with alien races, theyre declared irreversibly contaminated and thrown out of the Peacekeepers. Crais decided he was going to do that in Aeryns case, so instead, she left with us."

Cyn gazed at him in shock. "Aeryn was a Peacekeeper and they threw her out for spending too much time with you and the others?"

John nodded slowly, the guilt still evident in his face. "Yup, we were responsible for her losing the only life she ever knew. Thankfully, we were able to give her a new one."

Cyn gently touched his arm. "One she loves, that much is clear."

John smiled softly. "Thanks, but Im ok. Just old ghosts is all."

Cyn smiled at him. "Maybe I can make those old ghosts disappear again. Want to hear the song I wrote?"

John smiled, an eager expression erasing the previous guilty one. "Yeah, Id love that. Whats it about?"

Cyn looked at him and replied very honestly. "You."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 16

Johns eyes were glowing with pride, surprise, and love. He leaned over and gave her a slow, soft, gentle kiss that left them both slightly breathless when he gently pulled back.

Cynthias eyes stayed closed for a moment, then looked at him with a dazed look. "What was that for? Not that Im complaining."

John just gave her a soft smile. "For being amazing."

Cynthia blushed and looked down at the piece of paper she had in her hand. "Well, then, I may get another one after you hear this," she told him with a shy smile.

Chiana came closer. "Well, what are you waiting for? Lay it on us!"

Cynthia smiled and began.

"You saved me, theres no other way to say it; and I know I owe you my life. What I didnt expect was how you would get to me, how youd touch me inside.

How your gentleness, kindness would affect my soul; how one gaze would melt my heart. How I would feel the first time you kissed me, how I feel wrapped in your arms.

You make me safe, you make me feel loved; you make me feel special, like being me is so much more than enough.

You make me believe in magic, you made me believe again that dreams can come true. You make me believe in magic, like the magic in the air when Im with you. You make me believe in new beginnings, and that sadness will someday end. You make me believe people can be good, that its easy to make friends. You make me believe in passion; with you near, its easy to do. You make me believe in magic, the magic that exists when Im with you.

You were willing to risk so much, youre so much more than I deserve.

Brought me to people who became my friends, stood up for me when I didnt have the nerve.

You trusted me and got me to trust others, which I was always afraid to do. All of these things and other gifts, gave me the treasure of a world I never knew.

And theres no way to express my gratitude, except to simply tell you

You make me believe in magic, you made me believe again that dreams can come true. You make me believe in magic, like the magic in the air when Im with you. You make me believe in new beginnings, and that sadness will someday end. You make me believe people can be good, that its easy to make friends. You make me believe in passion; with you near, its easy to do. You make me believe in magic, the magic that exists when Im with you.

You make me believe I can open my heart without worrying that it will break; and that I can stop worrying, be defenseless, and learn to have some faith.

You give me hope that my world doesnt have to end here, that I can go on; somehow, you actually make me believe that its possible for me to be strong.

There are so many who care for me here, and I know you care the most; I know no other way to return your generosity than this simple glimpse into my soul

You make me believe in magic, you made me believe again that dreams can come true. You make me believe in magic, like the magic in the air when Im with you. You make me believe in new beginnings, and that sadness will someday end. You make me believe people can be good, that its easy to make friends. You make me believe in passion; with you near, its easy to do. You make me believe in magic, the magic that exists when Im with you.

You make me believe in magic, you made me believe again that dreams can come true. You make me believe in magic, like the magic in the air when Im with you. You make me believe in new beginnings, and that sadness will someday end. You make me believe people can be good, that its easy to make friends. You make me believe in passion; with you near, its easy to do. You make me believe in magic, the magic that exists when Im with you.

I believe in magic, believe that dreams can come true; believe in the magic in the air when Im with you.

I believe in new beginnings, that sadness can end; that people can be good, and its possible to make friends.

I believe in passion, like I feel with you; I believe in the magic that exists when Im with you."

Cynthia exhaled slowly and looked at them, and was unable to read their expressions. "Well? Did you hate it?"

Chi was slowly shaking her head, but Cyn wasnt sure what that meant, so she looked to John. "Ok, the lack of feedback here is frightening me. Seriously, what did you think?"

John stood up and glanced at Chi. "Could you give us a sec, Chi?"

Chi smiled softly, nodded her head and slipped quietly out of the kitchen.

Cyn glanced at John. "Why did you do that?"

John stared right back at her. "Because I really needed to do this." He gently wrapped her in his arms, and gave her a slow, deep kiss.

Cyn felt her knees almost go from underneath her as her head spun giddily. She couldnt think straight, in fact, she couldnt think at that moment if her life depended on it.

John finally pulled back slowly, still holding her. He opened his eyes and looked down into her face, secretly pleased at the happily dazed expression he saw. He waited until her eyes were open before he began to speak. "People have complimented me and, in various ways, done me favors which I may never be able to repay. And people have said things to me I wont forget in my lifetime or my childrens or my grandchildrens." He was quiet for a moment and simply ran the edge of his hand down the edge of her cheek, softly. "But no one has ever written anything so beautiful as that was, about me, ever."

Cynthia lit up as though a fire had been set in her eyes. "Really? You liked it that much?"

John laughed softly. "No, beautiful. I loved it, absolutely loved it." He bent and kissed her softly again.

When they pulled apart, Cynthia was positively glowing. "I cant remember the last time I sang a love song to the person that actually inspired it." She was quiet for a moment. "Mostly, because all the songs Ive written in the past have been from pure imagination." She laughed softly. "Guess that might explain it, huh?"

He smiled back at her. "Yeah, it might."

"Cynthia, this is Zhaan, where are you?"

Cynthia jumped at the voice and looked around in confusion, to Johns amusement.

"No, shes not here. Thats Moyas communication system." He raised his voice. "Zhaan, its John, Im with Cyn, what do you need?"

"I need you to bring her to the infirmary, John."

Johns expression of concern returned to his handsome face. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Im not sure, thats why I need you both here."

Now it was one of confusion and concern. "Wait, you need both of us? Not just Cyn? Why? Whats wrong?"

"Ill explain everything when you arrive, John. Please be quick."

"Right, on our way." John glanced back at Cynthia. "You okay with this?"

She nodded, worry in her eyes as well. "Of course, I want to find out whats wrong."

John nodded his agreement. "Me too, lets go." He took her gently by the hand and started leading her to the infirmary. They wound together through Moyas passageways until they found the room that Cynthia recognized as her original starting place on board the ship. John spoke up, "All right, Zhaan, whats wrong?"

Zhaan glanced up at them. "John, may I ask you to do something for me?"

He nodded, still looking confused. "Yeah, anything, what do you need?"

Zhaan looked at him. "A small sample of your blood. Not much, just a sample."

John nodded. "Of course." He took the needle she offered him and took a small amount of blood from his arm, then wrapped a bandage around it. He handed her the needle.

Zhaan took it with a grateful smile. "Thank you, John." She brought the needle over to her table, placed a drop of blood on a piece of glass, and looked at it under something Cynthia didnt recognize. Then, she removed that, and placed another piece of glass under it, with blood that looked identical.

Her curiosity getting the better of her, Cyn spoke up. "Whats that, Zhaan?"

Zhaan stood up and backed away from her table, looking surprised or shocked. Cyn couldnt tell which. But she could tell by Johns reaction that he was concerned, too.

John walked over to Zhaan. "Hey, Blue, you ok?"

Zhaan seemed to shake herself out of it, and she looked at John, then slowly turned and looked at Cynthia. "My dear, could we talk?"

John spoke up from behind Zhaan. "You guys need privacy?"

Zhaan turned to look at John again. "Not unless she does." She glanced back at Cynthia. "Do you, dear?"

Cynthia shook her head. "No, thats okay. Im fine."

Zhaan smiled and looked back at John. "It may be better for you to stay anyway." She looked back at Cynthia. "Would you sit down, dear?"

Cynthia nodded and sat down. John walked over and sat beside her, and Zhaan came over and joined them. She smiled at both of them. "Cynthia, dear, do you know where your home world is?"

Cynthia shook her head, confused by the question. "If you mean where I was born, then no, other than that, I have no home world. But my parents never told me where I was born. Why?"

Zhaan sighed softly. "Im not exactly sure how to tell you this, dear"

Cynthias concerned expression started to inch closer to fear. "Tell me what, Zhaan, whats wrong with me?"

Zhaan quickly rushed to correct the girl. "Oh, dear! Nothings wrong with you, youre perfectly healthy, or will be, when that bump is completely healed. No, thats not the problem at all."

Cynthia nodded slowly. "Ok, then what is, Zhaan?"

Zhaan looked at her and carefully took a hold of her hands. "I think I can tell you where your home world is, but it will be a shock to you" she glanced at John, "BOTH of you."

Now Johns expression was a mix of interest and concern. "Why would it shock me, Zhaan?"

Zhaan continued to look at him. "John, your race, your species, human, its only on Earth, correct?"

John nodded. "Yeah, why?"

Zhaan held up her hand. "Youll know in a moment."

John nodded his comprehension. "Okay."

Zhaan gazed back at Cynthia. "I have examined Johns blood and yours under a microscope, andIve found there to be significant similarities."

Cyn looked at John, who looked as confused as her, then back at Zhaan. "Im sorry, Zhaan, Im not sure what youre getting at."

Zhaan was still clutching the girls hands as she spoke. "Cynthia, I believe you are from Johns home world and that youre not a Sebacean, as youve always believed, but arein facthuman."