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Part 10

Cynthia felt instant guilt at the pain she saw in Aeryns face. "But it-it doesnt matter," she instantly continued. "Because hes with you, and he cares about you, and I dont want to ruin something as wonderful as what I know you two must have, and-" She was cut off by Aeryns finger on her mouth, though the woman was gazing at the floor.

"It is. Wonderful, I mean. But I have to understand that if you two have feelings for each other, than that should be explored. And I DO understand it, dont worry." Cynthia opened her mouth to speak and Aeryn held up her hand to stop her. "And dont try any more It doesnt matter, because, quite simply, it does." She brushed some hair off Cynthias face. "I look at you, I can almost see a little sister, and I know I see a friend. I shouldve been much kinder and given you much more of a chance than we started out with...well, Ill fix that now." Aeryn said with a bright smile, slapping her hands on her knees. She stood up and offered her hand to Cynthia. The girl looked at her in confusion. "Well, come on," Aeryn told her, "we need to go talk to John about this, and we may as well do it now. Whats the use putting it off?" Cynthia still looked uncertain, incapable of reading the womans thoughts or emotions by watching her face, but she relented, and took her hand and stood up. Aeryn was straining to keep the smile on her face, and it was killing Cynthia to know that she and John were the reason for that. They walked through the hallways of Moya until they were back at the large room where Cyn had first seen Pilot. There was John, closely watching the skies. "Still wormhole-hunting, John?" Aeryn asked.

He turned around and saw the two females in front of him, hands linked. Cynthia tried hard not to laugh as she saw nervousness flash across his handsome features. "Yeah, as always...uh, whats up, ladies? Is this Play a Practical Joke on the Human Day?"

Aeryn shook her head as the two walked somewhat closer to him. "No, not at all. Actually, Cynthia and I have been talking, and both of us realize we made some initial mistakes, and we want to be friends now, dispel some of the hostility, as is we have enough of that almost everywhere we go, lately, anyway..." she sighed.

Johns expression had changed, and was now one of pleasant surprise. "Well, thats wonderful. Im glad you two got that worked out so quickly, makes for a much more pleasant working environment when I know theres no blood feuds going on between sworn mortal enemies on board and all that, you know?"

Aeryn gave a half-smile at the sarcastic quip. "Im not that bad."

"You wish you werent that bad, but, hell, yes, you ARE," John replied, with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Aeryns look changed again, and she continued. "Im going off on a tangent here, and I have more I need to discuss, so I have no time for tangents."

Johns face was now concerned. "Ok, sorry, my bad, go on."

Aeryn nodded, and kept her expression stoic. Cynthia knew that expression, she used it once or twice, when she had the strength, when she didnt want anyone to know how much pain she was in, and everything that was going on inside her. She knew by looking at Johns face that he knew Aeryn did the same. Aeryn began: "Ive also been talking to Cynthia about other things, like you and me. She thought I thought she was trying to push me out of the picture, that both is and isnt true. Half of me WAS jealous, and the other half wanted so much to believe that this girl was just reaching out for someone to care about after shed lost so much else that she cared about...I was wrong. She told me that much, but I dont hold it against her. Shes a good person, and I no longer feel, well..." she glanced at Cyn for a second, "no offense meant, ok?" Cynthia nodded. Aeryn continued, "I no longer feel cursed that shes with us. Instead, I feel lucky. This girl had guilt over talking me to me in a harsh way in the infirmary after her parents died! God knows, I probably wouldve been throwing things and shooting up walls and buildings if that had happened to me at her age. But now shes saying she knows I understand what shes going through, and while shes right, I know that I have nowhere near the caliber of gentleness in me that she does. Im too independent, and tough, to be like her."

Cynthia stopped her. "Thats not true, Aeryn, you ARE like me, you dont know it, but Ive seen it multiple times already, and I havent even been here that long. And some of the things in me, while theyre things I love and never want to lose, arent always good. Im overly generous and too kind, youre generous enough, and kind but cautious. Im incredibly naive, even for my age, while youre wise and experienced. I have most of my innocence left, even after everything...and I still see yours in you, too. And independence and toughness are good things to have. I wish I had more of both. You...are...like me." She finished with a smile.

Aeryn looked pleasantly surprised at the girls mini-speech and shook herself out of a slight daze after hearing it. "Anyway, Ive come to the point where I feel were very lucky to have her on board, and I have no more feelings of anger or ill will towards her...I told her what you and I have is wonderful and special, but, to be honest, you never really had anyone else out here you could make it work with, that you had enough in common with. Well, here she is, a fallen angel, literally, and if thats not perfect enough, she has feelings for you, and according to her, the feeling is mutual. Tell me, honestly, is she right?"

John was quiet, but simply looked at Cynthia once, then locked gazes with Aeryn and nodded. "Yes, shes right."

Cynthias guilt grew so much that she almost needed to leave as she saw Aeryns expression nearly verge from stoic into pained. God, what have I done? What am I doing? Is there no way to stop her from doing this? she thought wildly. But then, she heard her heart: You didnt ask her to do this, you told her not to. You told her it didnt matter, that what she had with him is more important. This isnt your fault so dont blame yourself for it. This is her idea. Just be grateful and see how it turns out. So, although guilt-ridden, she stayed silent, and was slightly shocked at Aeryns one word reply to Johns answer: "Good," she told him with a slight smile.

John and Cynthia both looked at her, baffled. John spoke first, "Good?! You do realize that I just told you that I have feelings for another woman, right?"

Aeryn nodded, the smile still intact.

John shook his head, still baffled. "Ill say a couple things about you, you never cease to amaze me, and you never stop surprising me."

Aeryn chuckled softly. "I think thats just saying the same thing twice, John."

John shrugged, "Well, its true both ways I said it, then. But, Aeryn, you hated her before, or you seemed to. Now, its ok that we have feelings for each other? I seriously am utterly lost here."

Cynthia nodded her head in agreement, but said nothing.

"I already, explained, John. She and I had a long talk, and to be honest, I find myself incapable of hating her. And I didnt hate her before, we just got off on the wrong foot, made mutual bad impressions on each other, thats all." Aeryns small smile grew slightly. "But now, were on the right foot, and past impressions are gone. We know each other now, and to be perfectly honest, I trust her. I asked her some questions that she didnt have to answer truthfully, but she still did. I was impressed by her sincerity and genuine nature, and her fear of hurting anyone, emotionally or otherwise." She reached out and took Johns hands. "What Im getting around to here is that...if you care about her, and she cares about you, then dont let it go, try it. It might be nothing, and then again, it might be something amazing, you never know. My guess is, with her life that shes lead so far, she wont want to stay on Moya for the rest of her life, so she and you have a limited time, and we have all the time in the world. If you want to..." she looked at Cynthia, "if BOTH of you want to, then Im willing to let you give it a try, with my full and complete blessing."

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Part 11

John and Cynthia looked at each other, then back at Aeryn. John spoke first. "Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Aeryn?"

She simply half-smiled again. "Cute. But this is still me."

Cynthia looked at her with wistful but unbelieving eyes. "Aeryn, I cant quite believe my ears. Youre really okay with this?"

Aeryn sighed softly. "I cant say Ill be thrilled beyond belief, but I will say that its fair and necessary. Otherwise, tension between you and I wont be the only kind on Moya..."

Cyn blushed at what Aeryn meant, knowing better than the woman did of the tension that already existed.

John shook his head in disbelief. "So...youre willing to let this happen? For real? I mean, Im not looking an opportunity in the mouth here or anything, but-" he stopped at blank looks on both of their faces. "Sorry, human saying. I mean Im not taking this opportunity for granted, Im just a little...surprised."

Aeryn smiled softly. "Well, yes, its for real, and I m willing. I can imagine your surprise, but Im being entirely up front with you...both."

Cynthias relief and slowly building excitement was close to overwhelming her, but just so she didnt annoy or frighten her, she asked before she acted: "Aeryn..."

Aeryn looked at her. "Yes?"

"I know this is going to sound awfully childish, but...could I give you a hug?"

Aeryn smiled softly at the girls response to her decision. "Yes, if you wish."

Cynthia rushed forward and threw her arms around the woman in a tight hug. "Thank you so very much," she whispered into her ear.

Aeryn, somewhat clumsily, gently put her arms around Cynthia in return. "Youre welcome," she whispered back. "Take care of him."

Cynthia glanced at the womans face, and pulled back to gently wipe away a tear. "Im sorry," she whispered. "I never wanted to hurt anyone."

"Dont be," Aeryn whispered back. "It wouldve happened sooner or later, with someone or other. Im just glad its with two people I trust. And its not like I havent been hurt before, and this wont be the last time. Honestly, Ill be ok, Cyn."

Cynthia glanced up at her, and gently pulled away, a little reluctant.

John walked a little closer. "Cyn, could you leave me and Aeryn alone for just a minute?"

Cynthia nodded. "Yeah, of course." She walked off the bridge, a couple rooms away, to where she couldnt hear.

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John came close enough to touch Aeryns face, but didnt. "Are you sure you want to do this? Both of us would understand if you dont, if you cant-"

Aeryn chuckled softly at that. "Awfully full of yourself, Crichton, if you think I CANT do this. Dont you think?"

"Sorry, my bad, wrong choice of words there, youre right. Aeryn, honestly, do you want to do this? Are you really sure?" He reached out to gently touch her cheek. "We may be a somewhat volatile combination, but dang, I always thought that was a good thing."

Aeryn took the hand in hers. "Yes, it is. But John, this isnt about our feelings for each other. This is about your feelings for her, and hers for you."

John looked at her, somewhat confused. "And you dont think what we have is important enough to factor in there somewhere?"

Aeryn smiled softly. "Let me try in a way you can understand: science speak. You and I are one equation; she and you are another equation. At some point, yes, the two will have to meet, but that point has not yet arrived. So for the moment, our feelingswhat we have, it doesnt factor in yet."

John nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. I have one question."

Aeryn nodded. "Shoot."

John looked her in the eye. "If this new equation doesnt work, where will I be in the old equation if I come back to it?"

Aeryn smiled and brushed her hand softly over the side of his face. "Right where you were when you left. Nothing will have changed. This a mutual decision by both of us, which means whatever happens, Im okay with it."

John kissed her softly on the forehead. "Thank you for giving me this chance, for giving us this chance."

Aeryn nodded softly, trying to keep a stoic expression on her face.

John backed away slowly from her, step by single step. Then, he turned and jogged in the direction hed heard Cynthia go.

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Cynthia sat quietly in a hallway, waiting for whatever was to come next. She heard footsteps and glanced in the direction they were coming from. She couldnt help the smile that spread across her face when she saw John jogging down the hallway. He slowed down when he saw her and slowly a soft smile crossed his face, too. "Well, hey, there," he said, a bit out of breath.

She walked up to him, a shy, sweet smile on her face. "Hey. Is everything ok?"

He reached down and very softly cupped one side of her face in his right hand. Her breathing changed the second he touched her, and her eyes closed. "Everything is very ok," he whispered as he bent down and kissed her.

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Maybe Ill be okay here, Cynthia thought dizzily through the kiss that was making her whole world spin. I have a beautiful ship to live in until I can find a new home. Or maybe this place will become my new home. And I have friends here, people that care about me, dont want me to lose the things I loveand herehere Ive found someone that I could fall in love with, that could love me. So, maybe Ill be okay after all. Her last thought before everything melted away: Hell keep me safe; he wont let anything hurt me.

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Where in the universe did this girl come from? John wondered through the haze of the kiss. She just comes in out of nowhere and steals my heart away from me in the sweetest way possible. And offers her heart up just as sweetly. Where in the universe could she have come from to be like this, so amazing, pure, and gentle? There are so many things out here Ive seen that couldve ruined this, ruined her, and they havent. She mustve been so well protected by her parentsI could fall for this girlI have to protect her, I have to keep her safe.

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They each gently broke free from the kiss, winded, and a bit stunned by the intensity. "Are they all going to be like that?" Cyn asked, laughing softly from the shock of it.

John shook his head, still trying to clear his head. "That would be my best guess. Never had that happen before for me either. I wasnt expecting anything like that. Ive never been expecting anything like that." He looked into her eyes, and magically, felt his head clear. "Youre like a magic spell or something."

Cyn gave him a kind of dazed look, never expecting a compliment of such proportions. "You really believe in magic?"

John shook his head in wonder. "You make me believe in things I never thought I would, so why not?"

"Then, let me cast one more spell," Cyn replied with a smile. She reached out, put an arm behind his neck, and pulled him down to her in a deep kiss.

Part 12

John was caught off guard this time. When Cynthia pulled gently away with a small mischievous smirk, he shook his head with a very dazed expression on his face. He gazed down into her eyes and asked, "Okay, what was that for?"

She smiled softly. "For keeping your promise, making this okay with Aeryn. And taking such good care of me so far."

"Well, if that second part was a big part of why you did it, there will be a lot of those in the future, which I personally have no problem with. Since I plan to take good care of you for some time to come."

"Works for me," Cynthia replied. She gave him a softer kiss, then pulled gently away. "Know what? My exhaustion just caught up with me. I sorta want to head back to my room and hit the sheets as it were. Would you mind being my escort back to my room? Still not quite used to Moya enough to find it by myself."

John took her hand with a smile. "Not a problem, Ill be happy to lead the way. This time youll sleep in your own room, you know, as opposed to mine," he said with a small, teasing smile.

She lightly hit his shoulder. "Not funny. I was lost, I had no idea I was in your room."

He chuckled softly, almost to himself.

She glanced at him warily. "What?"

"The flight suit with the Crichton name tag didnt give it away, huh? Youre a quick study, arent you?"

She shot him a dirty look. "Okay, Id been having a really hard time, and I was exhausted. I didnt even see your flight suit. I swear. You think I wanted Aeryn to decapitate me after finding me in there?"

He nodded with a small smile. "Okay, I believe you. And I dont know if she wouldve been that upset, but I admit it wouldve looked pretty bad."

She looked relieved that someone else had agreed with her conclusion of the situation shed been worrying herself sick over earlier that day. "Thank you. I thought I was the only one paranoid about that."

He shook his head. "No, I was thinking on it myself earlier. Im just glad it didnt come to bloodshed before Aeryn got things straight finally. I just cant believe the decision she made"

Cynthia gave a short, shocked laugh. "You cant? She, okay, as she said, got a very bad first impression of me that caused her to violently dislike me. You were in no danger of bloodshed. However, something I said mustve just gotten through to her, I guess. Im glad."

John let his fingers of the hand holding hers softly caress her fingers as he smiled softly at her. "As am I. Whatever you said, youre a smart cookie, and you got through to her like no one else on this boat could. You should feel very proud of that. Connecting with people your first day."

Cynthia beamed. "I do. Im naturally a people person, and this whole thing with Aeryn was half frightening and half heartbreaking for me. Im just glad we got it all sorted out. I may not be her favorite person onboard, but at least she wont be shooting me murderous glances behind my back or anything."

John gave a short chuckle. "And dont worry if she does start doing that. The reason will probably be, that if you look behind you, Ill be there doing something horribly wrong. Trust me, its happened before."

Cynthia laughed. "Got it, murderous glances seemingly aimed at me always have a reasonable explanation, and it probably doesnt involve me."

John shook his head, marveling at her yet again. "Our senses of humor are so much alike. Normally, no one gets me."

Cyn gave a soft smile, shook her head and looked in his eyes, melting him as she replied, "And here I was just thinking Ive never gotten someone Im not related to as much as I get you. I couldnt imagine anyone not getting you."

John stopped and looked at her with a serious expression. "Well, I need to tell you something."

Cyn searched his face as she nodded. "Okay."

He took her hand, and put it to his chest, over his heart. "Do you feel that?"

She nodded. "Its going so fast," she said softly.

He looked at her. "And you dont have any idea why, do you?" He shook his head, incredulous at how completely innocent she was, and how much it attracted him to her.

She gave a soft, shy smile as she shook her head, leaving her hand where he held it, while still looking in his eyes.

"Its because youre standing next to me, holding my hand, and feeling my heart pound." He gazed at the floor for a second. "I have something to tell you, and its a little bit serious, but I dont want to scare you."

She reached out with her other hand, and softly tipped his chin up until his gaze was looking into hers again. "Im good with serious, and Im not scared. Tell me."

The hand holding hers to his heart was trembling slightly, and they both felt it.

"Okay," he replied in an unsteady voice, still a little unsure of what shed think of his next words. "The thing is, what you just said about getting me? Theres only really been one other person since Ive come here that really gets me in that same way, and thats AerynIm just a little afraid of what that could mean, of where this could lead, and how fast and"

Cyn put her finger to his lips to quiet him. "Dont be scared, dont be worried, and dont jump the gun. This will happen as its meant to. If its meant to last, then thats wonderful, if we find out its not going to work, then okay, but dont worry when its just started. We cant worry ourselves to death, thats not the best way to die. We just have to take things as they come. And Im still not scared," she finished with a smile.

John softly kissed the finger that was still against his lips, and they both smiled softly.

Cyn gave a small laugh and John gave her a wary glance. "What?"

Cyn looked back at him coyly. "Keep that up, and my lips and cheek and forehead and hand and everything else are going to feel very left out." She gave him an impish smile as she let go of his hands and started walking down the corridor. "Want to play a game?"

John smiled back at this new, childlike twist to her personality. "What kind of game?"

"The kind where I hide and you come find me," she replied.

"We have that where I come from too, its called Hide and Seek," he told her.

"Well, you learn something new every day," she replied with a laugh. "You going to play? Cause otherwise, this really wont be much fun!" With that, she took off running down the corridor, leaving John smiling and laughing softly under his breath as he counted to ten. "Ready or not" he called out, "here I come," he whispered.

Part 13

"Wasnt this a wonderful idea?" Cynthia mumbled to herself. Shed been finding her way, or trying to, more appropriately, through Moyas winding hallways. Finally, she found her way back to her room, and looked around for a moment, before going to her pile of sheets on the floor and crawling underneath it.

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John was humming happily to himself, walking down Moyas hallways, and checking every room carefully. He finally came to Cynthias room. Hmmmwould she hide in her room? Or is that what she wants me to think? He walked silently into the room, noting there werent a lot of places to hide under or behind. He moved quietly across the room to the pile of sheets, lowered himself soundlessly to the floor, and reached over, quickly pulling the sheets up, eliciting a scream from Cynthia, startling him, causing him to tip over backwards onto the floor.

Cynthia sat up and crawled over to him, clearly alarmed. "John? God, Im sorry, are you o--?"

But her question was cut off as he swung his arm around her waist, pulling her to the floor to lie next to him. She broke into laughter. "You are quite the practical joker arent you?"

But he didnt answer; he just looked at her with a soft smile.

She had a baffled expression. "What?"

His smile only brightened. "You are so good-natured it should be illegal." He reached out with one hand to softly touch her cheek, and she turned her face into his hand, and kissed it softly.

"Takes one to know one," she replied.

He shook his head, incapable of believing this was real, not knowing the same thought was going around in circles in her mind. He smoothed her hair gently, keeping his gaze locked on hers. "So, is the game over now?"

She smiled softly at him. "Well, you found me, didnt you?"

A look came over his face that she couldnt read. "One of the luckiest days of my life since coming out here."

She was slightly confused, thinking he still meant the game. "Want to run that by me again?"

He looked in her eyes. "The day I found you was one of the luckiest days of my life since coming out here."

She looked troubled at this and looked away for a minute.

He was confused at this reaction. "Youre not glad to hear that?"

She shook her head. "Thats not it. I just wish I could say the same thing, but not everything about that day was sunshine and roses for me, you know?"

He shook his head, not believing something so stupid could have come out of his mouth, even accidentally and innocently. "God, Im so sorry, I didnt even think, and then, hello, foot met the back of the throat. Maybe even further in than that, I shoved it pretty far in that time." He rubbed his eyes in frustration, and felt her take his hand, and he looked at her.

She smiled at him. "If it hadnt been for you, I wouldnt be here, so I think youre allowed a stupid remark here and there. Ive done it before, Im not perfect."

"Really? Couldve fooled me." He kept a hold on her hand, not willing to let go of her. Then, on sudden impulse, he leaned closer and kissed her, gently. When he pulled slowly away, her eyes opened just as slowly, with a dazed expression on her face.

"What was that for?" she asked in a delighted voice.

He shrugged with a smile. "Just needed to do that."

She smiled. "Thats an even better reason than mine before, about your taking care of me. We should stick with that as a reason for displays of affection."

He tilted his head as he gave her a playful look. "Public or private?"

She shrugged. "Either or. Theyre both fun."

He smiled and laughed softly. "No arguing with that."

She gave him a serious look. "Would you think Im an awful person if I said Im a little afraid?"

He looked confused. "First off, I would never, in my life, think you were an awful person for any reason, and secondly, what are you afraid of?"

She looked guilty. "This, whats already happening."

He looked even more confused. "Isnt this what you want? Are you still afraid of Aeryn? I obviously am missing a piece somewhere here"

She looked like she wanted to clear up his confusion. "Yes, no, and heres the thing. Im a singer. I do love songs. But I dont just do the oh, Im so happy and in love, tra-la-la-la-la kind of love songs, you know? In some of the songs I sing, people come out with broken hearts, lost dreams, and no hope left. I dont want to end up there."

He suddenly understood why shed looked guilty earlier. "I know exactly what you mean. Ive gotten my heart broken before, but theres nothing better in the universe, in my experience, than being in love. Yeah, when it doesnt work out, it hurts, but what about when it does? The only thing I can tell you is the future is always uncertain, but as long as we feel the same way and communicate, well make it. That much I can promise. Ok? You can be afraid of a broken heart if you want, but we dont know whats up ahead, and we could worry about everything in our lives if we wanted to, every last detail. But would we really be living then? Or just extremely paranoid?"

She smiled. "Ok, I get it. Ill try not to worry so much. Just, you know, years of practice makes me really good at it."

He reached out to touch her face again. "Well, how about letting me take over for a while for you? Im pretty good at it too."

She smiled softly and nodded. "That would actually be really nice. In other words, yes please."

John looked at her intensely for a minute. "You know what? Theres something else I really need to do now."

She gave him a curious look. "Ok, what?"

He reached out with both arms and pulled her to him, just holding her. She just melted into his arms, and the next thing he knew, she was fast asleep. But instead of slipping her out of his embrace, he felt so comfortable that he drifted off to sleep too, holding her in his arms.